


It's not fair

by Itsomnambulist



Series: Nightmares [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bed-Wetting, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Daddy Issues, Death, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fear, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Nightmares, Omorashi, Pain, Psychological Trauma, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsomnambulist/pseuds/Itsomnambulist
Summary: After what happened at Chloe's house after the event of the "accident", of which a week ago, Lucifer and Chloe were in a perfect situation with each other. Everything was perfect, until it was not.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker & Mazikeen, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Trixie Espinoza, God & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Mazikeen & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Trixie Espinoza & Mazikeen
Series: Nightmares [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998199
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	It's not fair

**Author's Note:**

> At first when I wrote the story "Except sleeping with you" I did not know if you would like it, however you did, and I also did, a lot. It was going to be a single story of one part, but now after giving it a lot of thought, I feel like continuing and making a series of it, I don't know how many chapters yet, but it will be seen as it evolves, I hope you like it.

After what happened at Chloe's house after the event of the "incident", of which a week ago, Lucifer and Chloe were in a perfect situation with each other. They enjoyed being together much more than they ever did. Although in reality, they simply demonstrated it, since they had always or almost always known that they were made for each other.

The work at the police station as colleagues flowed wonderfully, they met to go to breakfast and lunch every day as usual, sometimes at Lucifer's house, sometimes at Chloe's and sometimes away, even Chloe had started to laugh at his jokes instead of roll her eyes every time he made any inappropriate comment. It was just incredible, maybe because they were both incredible.

They hadn't kissed again, it hadn't come up, that night had been completely unexpected, and now they didn't care, they just wanted company, to be together and nothing else. Although why lie? they both wanted to tear off their lips with kisses, and not only their lips, but also their clothes.

Lucifer unfortunately still had those horrible nightmares, but that didn't stop him from forgetting about them every time he saw the Detective smile. He had not woken up wet since that "isolated" accident, which made him feel very calm. Although he couldn't help checking the sheets every time a nightmare woke him up at dawn, sighing in relief to find them dry.

The only thing that had changed for the worse, was that now in his nightmares, in addition to continually seeing his family die, his siblings, his mother, his friends... he had also begun to dream about losing Chloe, snatched from among his arms in each nightmare for different reasons. They seem so real that, when it happened, he was forced to call the Detective immediately and verify that it had only been a nightmare, hugging her the next morning, physically checking too.

The pain he felt when he had the nightmares was indescribable before all this happened, night after night waking up screaming and crying. It wasn't like what he felt when he dreamed of Chloe, it was a different feeling, a different pain, but certainly just as horrible.

Since the night of the accident and after the conversation with Trixie, he had not attended any more sessions with Linda, both out of embarrassment and unnecessary. Of course he knew that if he went there; which although he did not admit, he really needed to vent with a professional, but rather with a friend like Linda was; he would either end up telling her about his "little accident" or he would end up raising the subject of nightmares from him again. And since the nightmares had not stopped, but the accident had not happened again, he considered it unnecessary to ask the Doctor for any advice.

Luckily Chloe hadn't brought up the subject again; at least not the one that embarrassed him the most; since she knew it was the last thing he needed, but somehow, asking him how he was sleeping and how he was doing everytime she could, unconsciously made him feel that if anything happened, no matter how terrible, she would remain by his side, she wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how much he isolated himself from time to time, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

It was Saturday and Chloe had organized a girls' night with Maze and Trixie to watch Disney movies, put on makeup, paint their nails, practice knife throwing at a dartboard... well, normal things in Chloe's life now.

Lucifer had also decided to take the day off and had arranged to meet Dan and Amenadiel to go see car races, one of the things that made Chloe see that Lucifer, in addition to being an angel and the devil, was also a boy. And there is nothing that drives a boy crazier than cars. It seemed very sweet to her to see how happy those things made him.

Lucifer had enjoyed the day like a little boy, plus the fun night at the Lux filled with party and madness after. It was late, Dan had just gone home and Amenadiel had already left a while ago, he had to stay with Charlie in the morning while Linda attended her patients. Only Lucifer was left enjoying the company of a couple of the Lux's regulars, but he would have liked much more to continue the party with his brother and friend, oddly enough.

Lucifer spent a while more in the club and finally went up to the penthouse to see a movie and go to sleep, he was really tired, the nightmares were depriving him enough of sleep that although not as much as humans, he still really needed.

He decided to go to bed when an ad for the telemarketer woke him from a light sleep suddenly off the couch, the movie had ended long ago and he had fallen asleep. It was great to be able to go out, drink and have fun without having to worry about his bladder, although now that his new urinal had finally arrived, he would not have minded being able to use it, at least once.

He woke up from the coach and went directly to his master bed, he didn't want anything more than that at the time. He undressed until he was just on his grey Calvin Klein boxers and he took less than five minutes to fall asleep, 

In the middle of the dream, as expected, a nightmare began, although this time, for some strange reason, it felt different, he felt trapped, as if he was not really going to wake up anymore and his hellish loop was to see how his father dropped Chloe from the Silver City to the bowels of hell, while he tried to save her, but he had no wings after having cut them and the Detective died in the impact under his eyes.

He felt like anguish and overwhelm grabbed his chest inside and took his breath away, as little by little everything was compressing and he was suffocating little by little in a cold and insane emptiness. It was then when he woke up with a great gust of air reaching his lungs, as if someone were going to take it off him and he was going to suffocate again, pinching himself several times with such force as to bruise his arm, to realize that he was awake and that Chloe was still perfectly safe at home. He was tempted to call her and check, but seeing that the alarm clock struck six in the morning, he guessed it would be in bad taste to wake her up for something like that. Anyway, what was he going to tell her? Ask her if she was still alive? It was absurd.

It was then that he noticed it, the familiar sensation between cold and wet heat under the covers and on his lap, the discomfort of the wet underwear brushing against his member. It was then that he not only noticed it, but hit him. He jerked the covers aside and was able to see what he already knew, a considerable and huge puddle in the middle of the bed, a dark stain on his gray boxer shorts that did not help to hide it, a feeling of weakness in his bladder and in his lower regions. A streak of anger rose in his throat and made him scream with all his might, his eyes were red and he smashed the alarm clock against the wall of his room.

It had been a week, he thought he was "healed", everything was going great with Chloe, she was not around nor had she been all weekend, and now he felt like a stupid five year old boy who had wet the bed for the second time. Once could be considered an isolated accident, but twice... twice it was a problem, one that terrified him. What if he had lost control of his bladder forever? What if Chloe began to find him disgusting and pathetic? She would never invite him to sleep with her again, although it was compressible, he wouldn't want to wake up drenched every night either. Why was this happening to him? Was it a stupid joke on his father? Because he was not amused.

Then, without seeing it coming or being able to avoid it, the tears flooded his eyes and, shrinking his knees to his chest with his head buried in them, he began to cry and sob, seeing himself overwhelmed by the situation, feeling helpless, so much that his chest had begun to hurt and his eyes had turned red for a completely different reason.

Fifteen minutes passed and he was still in his bed, wet, cold, but now curled up and covered with the sheets, which now undoubtedly smelled like pee, the pee of an ashamed grown man. It was when his crotch began to itch that he decided to take off his boxers and go take a shower, but just before doing so, and as if his father were doing it on purpose, Chloe and Maze entered the apartment, finding themselves face to face with a miserable Lucifer, freezing to death, with tossled curled hair, soggy gray underpants on the front and eyes still red from crying. He didn't have the time to cover himself up or make up a credible lie, although it wouldn't be worth it either since he wasn't capable of lying, least of all in front of Chloe.

It was already seven o'clock in the morning and they had decided to take Lucifer and have breakfast all together.

But as soon as they entered they stopped their conversation and stared at Lucifer in the middle of the steps to his room. Maze was the first to speak: 

"Seriously? couldn't you wait a bit for any of your kinks and perversions?" Maze said indifferently.

Chloe had been frozen, she did not know how to react, she felt a mixture of bewilderment, surprise, and seeing Lucifer's face trying to articulate the words, suddenly it hurts. 

"You know what? Why don't you take Trixie out for breakfast while I stay with Lucifer?" Chloe said quickly trying to avoid the devil a traumatic situation while giving Maze money for breakfast.

"As you like, I'll leave you with your rare rolls" said Maze coming out of the penthouse.

Lucifer was still in the same place cooling down and beginning to feel uncomfortable, and not just because his boxers were sticking to very unpleasant places. He wanted to cover himself, but she had already seen him, he wanted to shower, but that would not change how he felt, you could not undo a wet bed. He chose to hide: 

"Please go" he said hurt.

"I'm not going anywhere Lucifer." Chloe said persistent without knowing very well how she should react.

"I didn't want you to saw me like that, it's not fair, none of this is." He said from the far side of the room, moving away from Chloe's sight.

Chloe's heart fluttered to hear him: 

"Isn't it fair? What isn't fair? I told you you could count on me for anything Lucifer, and I keep my word." She said determined, feeling a lot of pity for the man.

"None of this is fair, when finally everything goes well, my body, or my father, I don't know, decides to screw me but fine. That's what's not fair." Lucifer said coming out of his hiding place without his underwear on, which he had thrown away in the bathroom trashcan.

"Hey, calm down, it's fine, really, it could happen to anyone, I told you that night and I'll tell you again now." Chloe said sympathetically ignoring the naked Lucifer who was pacing around the room. 

"No, it's not okay, none of this is okay, I'm a grown man, older than anyone. I don't even understand it, we haven't seen each other in two days, how? At night we drank a lot, yes, but I didn't have the need before I went to bed like last time, I swear not." Lucifer said as he continued pacing the room thoughtfully, trying to ignore the urge to cry and scream that caught his throat.

"Do you feel like it now?" Chloe asked when she saw him pacing back and forth. 

"What?" Lucifer asked puzzled as if he had been asked something totally out of place. 

"You don't stop fidgeting, do you need to go now? because I'm close to you?" Chloe asked not knowing if it had been a good idea to ask considering the man's pride. 

"Well of course it's because you're here! But you weren't here yesterday and it didn't matter!" Lucifer said unable to contain the rage and anger that he had inside. 

"Lucifer calm down please, I didn't mean to offend you." Chloe said a little scared when his eyes turned red again.

Then he came to his senses and his eyes returned to their natural color again, he calmed down and replied discouraged: 

"I need... I need to take a shower, among other things, don't- don't touch anything, okay? Have a drink if you want." He said going into the bathroom and closing the door behind him, he really didn't want Chloe to touch his dirty clothes or the cold wet sheets, he just wanted to shower until he felt clean, but not just physically. He was also angry because he did need to pee, a lot, and that bothered him, since that new need arose, everything had gone wrong, he did not need a reminder of how vulnerable he felt.

He got into the shower and let the water run over his head until it was fully heated, almost burning. He still had to pee, bad, but he didn't feel like touching his dirty skin to do it, and overall a little more pee in the shower is not going to make a big difference, he was annoyed at how pleasant it felt to let it go, he couldn't avoid to let out a soft moan as he relaxed, it bothered him insanely. He let the steam soak through him, rubbing so hard it started to hurt, but not as hard as his embarrassment.

He began to think about everything that had happened in such a short time, how Chloe had seen him in the middle of one of the worst moments of his life, and how he had reacted that very morning. The first time it had happened to him it was not so serious, perhaps because no one had witnessed it, and when he explained it, he could ignore the most embarrassing details. But this time was different, because Chloe had seen him standing in the middle of his house, with his underpants clearly soaked, his eyes red and not because of his devil condition, shivering from the cold, the cold of his bloody wet sheets, which shouldn't be wet in the first place because he was a fucking grown man.

When he noticed, his hands were slightly wrinkled and although he still felt completely dirty, he had to compose himself and clean the mess from the room. For some reason he still felt very angry, although he did not really know with whom.

When he came out of the bathroom the bed was made, but Chloe was not there, but sitting on a stool at the counter waiting for him. Lucifer approached her still with the towel around his waist. 

"Why did you do it?" He said as soon as he saw her sitting there, looking at the perfectly made bed. 

"I'm sorry, I wanted to help, and if there's one thing I'm good at in this life besides solving cases, it's making beds." She said smiling kindly.

"Why? I expressly asked you not to touch anything, you could do anything except that." The devil said sounding a little more annoyed than he intended.

"Lucifer calm down, I have a little girl, I'm used to changing wet sheets." Chloe said regretting the latter a bit as she didn't want to embarrass Lucifer any more than he already was, but she just really wanted to help.

"I don't care, I asked you not to do it, I asked you. Why didn't you listen to me?" Lucifer said altered.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay? I just meant to make this all easier for you, I've told you you could lean your shoulder on me." The Detective said trying to reassure the devil.

"Why didn't you run away? I'm disgusting." Lucifer said in a mixture of anger and sadness.

"No, you are not, you are a man who needs help and although he refuses to accept it, I am not going to leave you, I am going to do everything in my power to help." Chloe said approaching Lucifer little by little, trying to make him open his armor and let her in.

"I don't understand... why? Why aren't you mad?!" Lucifer said raising his tone and getting more nervous if it was possible.

"Because it isn't your fault, please calm down, you're shaking." Chloe says worried, feeling sorry for him.

"Yes it is! Stop doing that!" Lucifer says now completely angry, although still not really knowing with whom.

"Stop doing what?!" Chloe says stressed waiting for an answer for his crazy reaction.

Then he finally let it go, what really bothered him about all this, it was not the bed, of course it was not.

"Stop feeling sorry for me! I don't deserve it, I deserve to be punished!" Lucifer said as his eyes turned red and his gesture changed from anger and annoyance to outright anger, causing Chloe to take a step back.

"Lucifer..." She said in a soft, pain-filled voice, seeing for the first time how Lucifer's devil eyes shone not only from fire, but from tears.

"Please leave." Lucifer said, unable to calm himself down, walking towards the room and disappearing from the sight of Chloe, who headed towards the elevator brokenhearted.

It was when the sound of the door echoed throughout the penthouse that Lucifer, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, began to cry uncontrollably, finally aware of what he had just done, and scared that he had not been able to control himself. Although not just scared.

Lost.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I couldn't find a juicier name for this series, so any suggestion would be great :)


End file.
